Many of us have one story at our own expense that’s a bit cringe worthy from our travels. When we’ve put our foreign foot in it, been blind to cultural norms or just stuck out like a throbbing sore thumb because we’ve misread the room big time. Even if we consider ourselves to be culturally sensitive and well read on etiquette, sometimes we just don’t have time to prepare before we go. And other times, our natural reserve in a new country means that we don’t communicate as we might instinctively at home. The list is endless, but here are a few top tips on how to ensure that your communication while travelling is free of faux pas.
Thanking you
It’s usually just one word, folks and really it’s a no brainer. But it’s amazing how, when in a bar or restaurant while travelling, you hear an English-speaking person say, ‘thanks bud’ or ‘cheers mate’ to the local person handing them their drink. Yes, some of them can be hard to pronounce, such as efcharistó in Greece, blagodarya in Bulgaria or obrigado in Portugal (obrigada if you’re a woman), but you’ll get there with practice. Although placing your right hand on your chest is also non-verbal way to say thank you in Greece, if you are still struggling with efcharistó.
There are some countries where thanking is not part of the culture, however, such as India. However, this usually applies to closer relationships between friends and families, where gratitude goes without saying. In hospitality, however, where the relationship is more formal, thank you still goes a long way, which is dhanyavaad for when you’re feeling particularly grateful, or shukriyaa for a more casual thanks. If in doubt, Duolingo it. The French have an interesting quirk around thanking. If someone asks you if you’d like some more wine, for example, and you say merci, this means no thank you. Just say, oui, s’il vous plaît, and your glass will stay full.
When in Japan
The rules and rituals around Japanese etiquette are complex, and as it’s Japanese culture that entices so many of us, we recommend reading more in depth books on responsible communication while travelling in Japan. However, one aspect of Japanese culture is that people are inherently polite, very forgiving and trusting people, so they won’t alienate you if you get it wrong, but they will be delighted if you get it right. And, in return, you won’t get overcharged, pick pocketed or scammed in Japan. Why? Because it’s just not polite. Top of the manner menu is not wiping your face with a hot towel, never washing in the communal bath, not blowing your nose in public, learning how to bow and not feel strange, not tipping and never sticking your chopsticks vertically into your food. This is because, in Japanese tradition, a bowl of rice is left by bereaved people for their lost ones, with the chopsticks sticking up vertically. So it’s considered bad luck to do it at any other time, and disrespectful. And while we’re in Japan, arigato gozaimasu is the formal way to say thank you, or the more casual way is shortening it to arigato.
To bow or not to bow
Saying thank you in Japan is usually accompanied by a bow, as is the case in many Asian countries. In Japan it is also used to apologise, greet someone or just simply to show respect. If you want to show deep respect, you bow more deeply – an informal bow is around 15 degrees, with the most formal being brings you down as far as 45 degrees. In some parts of Nepal, especially among older generations and in more traditional contexts, a slight bow or nod, often accompanied by the gesture of bringing the hands together in a prayer-like pose (called Namaste), is used to show gratitude and respect.
What’s a no-no?
The word no can be complicated in different cultures across the world. If you’re in Nepal, for example, and you wave hello to someone, they may read it as you saying ‘no’ or telling them to go away. In Japan, they find it difficult to say no to someone, as accommodating guests’ wishes is so ingrained in their culture. So if they say, for example, ‘I’ll have a think about that’ or ‘maybe’, there’s a good chance it’s a no, but they just don’t want to disrespect you by saying the word out loud. They may also just give you a gentle, non-committal smile which may leave you wondering what’s going on, but just remember that sometimes they just can’t say no. It can also be confusing in Nepal, where local people may nod their heads to mean no, but moving their head from side to side means yes.
In Greece, the symbol for ‘no’ can be confusing, as Greek people can do a casual flick of the head upwards, and make a brief tutting sound, to say no thanks. The motion of the head upwards can look like a yes on the way back down, so you need to be alert! Or if in doubt, just say ochi, meaning no. When it’s super hot in Greece, sometimes it’s easier to just make a quick movement. There may be confusion in Bulgaria too, where nodding means no and shaking your head means yes. In France, people may just make a double tut sound with their tongue to mean no and a quick intake of breath for yes. For an amusing summary of the sounds that French people make that you may need to understand, see here.
Shaking hands
In many parts of the world shaking hands is a sign of peace, dating back to ancient Greece, when people shook hands to show that there were no weapons being concealed. It might seem like a straightforward form of communication while travelling. However, while most people from western countries shake hands, in many other countries such as Nepal or Bhutan, men only do so with other men, and don’t touch women when meeting or greeting. If it’s clear that a man is accustomed to western etiquette, then you won’t feel uncomfortable as a woman if you go to shake hands, but you may make others feel awkward. However, traditional Asian women may shake hands with visiting women.
If you are embarking on a hiking or cycling holiday in Morocco or Albania, which are Muslim countries, men and women don’t always shake hands, especially if they are from a strictly religious background. But a man may put his right hand to his chest and bow his head or simply smile to the woman he is greeting. Between two Muslim men, or two Muslim women, greetings are gregarious with handshakes, hugs and kisses.
Titular diplomacy
Women’s titles are changing slowly but surely around the world, with less emphasis on marital status in some countries. You may have been taught Madame and Mademoiselle in French for Mrs. and Miss, but the French and Swiss governments stopped using mademoiselle in state documents over ten years ago. The older generation may still use it, but, in short, you don’t have to go through the palaver of seeing if a young person is wearing a wedding ring or not to choose the correct word. Similarly, in Germany, you have Frau and Fräulein for Mrs. and Miss, but the latter has pretty much disappeared. The Italians are progressing too, with signora the main title, and the diminutive signorina out of the picture. In Spain, however, you still come across both señora and señorita for Mrs. and Miss respectively. Find out more about this subject when you travel, as it makes for an interesting conversation and cultural insight as you go.
What’s in a country name?
Country names do change from time to time, especially in Europe, and one of the biggest faux pas is to get them wrong, as you may be opening historical wounds for some people. The Czech Republic (officially known as Czechia) and Slovakia have been independent countries and not Czechoslovakia since 1992. The same thing goes for Yugoslavia, which broke up into a collection of independent Balkan beauties in the early 90s.
Also, don’t call it Holland, when the country’s name is the Netherlands, with North and South Holland, and never refer to the Republic of Ireland as being part of the United Kingdom. Yes, six counties of the island are British, but 26 counties are independent and proudly so. Although this is a difficult conversation to have, especially in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK and so negotiate this one with diplomacy. Another delicate one is Catalan independence, and not one to joke about. The same could be said in Scotland, where many still burn a candle for independence. It’s also good to get the country’s name right in North Macedonia which was renamed in 2019 and was a battle hard won, following a long territorial dispute with Greece. And finally, if you’re travelling in Europe for the first time, talking about the EU and Brexit in the UK is one quick way to kill the mood.
Don’t mention the war
When you are travelling in regions where there has been relatively recent conflict, if in doubt, don’t mention the war. For example, the Kosovo War and struggle for independence were both relatively recent, with Kosovo declaring independence from Serbia in February 2008. However, Serbia and many of the resident Serbian minority still don’t recognise it as an independent republic. It is also still not recognised as a state by some UN, EU and NATO members, although the majority do recognise it. Suffice to say, it is still a sensitive topic. The same goes for Bosnia-Herzegovina and other Balkan countries like Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia where, although the war ended in the last century, wounds take time to heal.
More recently, following the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, the war is a very sensitive subject with neighbouring countries, especially those who were once under Russian rule. So be careful and respectful in how and with whom you chat about it.
“We had painful fights for our independence and understand the value of our freedom. That’s why all Baltic States give everything to support Ukraine. We know the pain and we know that they’re fighting our war too. If I had to describe Lithuanians, Latvians and Estonians, I’d say they are resilient, full of empathy, they have very entrepreneurial spirits and are kind, humble people.” – Neringa Rackauskaite, Marketing Director at The Natural Adventure.
For more inspo and info on travelling in a mindful and responsible way, you may enjoy the following blogs: Conscious consumption on your travels, Everything you need to know about travelling in Ramadan, Tipping around the world and Responsible photography tips.
